Random Motivation and Reality Checks, I dont think they come from "no where". I dont think they are that random after all. *Feeling Blessed and Highly Favored* Enjoy!
Saw this woman today with a one year old, bringing her child in to daycare... and the woman has one arm. It was amazing to me that she was smiling and happy ( which is probably very shallow of me) but what made me really feel like a big losery whiner is the thought: What if she is a single mom? Can u imagine trying to date with a child - AND one arm?! I'd give up! I'd move in with my parents and give up on being married again. I dont think that makes my self esteem low, that my self worth personality and other great things I have going for me wouldnt out shine a missing limb, I just think it makes her 10 times stronger than me. I've talked about strength before and its not exactly roaring on top of a mountain. Its more like getting through something by the skin of your teeth, and continuing to inch forward across the broken glass of the aftermath, motivated only by the knowledge that you're still alive. Bruised and broken: you're still breathing. And even though your circumstances seem a bit unfair, you dont dare shed any tears or show anger for fear that it could be worse. Having to force yourself to grow inner strength humbles you like nothing else can.
Anyway, given all my physical grievances, pain, memories etc, they are almost like nothing when I think of how much worse it could be. Smh. Made me wish I could take back every complaint I ever made, every wasted day I laid in bed being depressed, every opputunity to be what I'm here for that I've passed up with some lame excuse or another... I am truly blessed. Not just because I have two arms but because I have so much to be happy and thankful for! :) I may have moments where I'm a little sad or a little crazy but I'm still up, everyday using my whole body and mind while I still can!
xo
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