Careful Player

I dont want to just have a man. I have already proven to myself that i can do that, no prob. I want him to be THE man. Not just a nice guy with good credit and minimal bad habits. Not just a pretty smile and a good job and good build. All those things are temporary. Talking to a friend of mine about this, they said they couldn't understand how people get hung up on one person, theres plenty of others out here. I can only half agree with that. Yes, i do see all the others and realize if one doesnt work - all is not lost. But i DO want to be hung up. I do want to want only him and value him so much that i wont settle for anything else. I realize the inconvenience and illogical-ness of it all. ( Been there, suffered consequenses) But I dont care. Its worth it. I want to be in love. (again, one day.)

Being so afraid of the vulnerability of love that you are noncommittal enough to go into relationships like everyone is "replaceable" is playing a game. Like youve figured out the perfect angle to never lose. Losing sucks but it usually comes with lessons and emotional growth. Contrary to the previous blog ( or not, depending on how you look at it) One thing I have learned, is when you limit your emotions for fear of loss or hurt, you limit your ability to mature. Youre still playing games, leading on the folks you let in, because they have no idea the revolving door they've stumbled into. Time means nothing to you. Youre patient. Because youre only filling a space until someone else comes. Someone a little more this or little less that. Its not emotional, its a numbers game to you. I dont want to be a number. I dont want to be a spacefiller. I dont want to have space fillers. That is a waste of time that no one has to spare. The worst part for you is the inevitable: When you finally do fall in love, unintentionally. Lets just hope Karma is kind! Be a shame if that careful player plays the same "never lose" game with you!