I'm glad I was married... BUT now that I'm single...

So this morning, as I got on with my normal day to day; up at the crack of dawn stuffing book bags, searching for jackets, and chasing a naked two year old, I was mentally somewhere completely different. This is normal for me - it helps me concentrate, actually. Today my thoughts were turned to the habits of people. I like to think of myself as pretty good character analyst, because I love finding and relating to people's logic in the reasons for what they do. Something that has come up in conversation a lot lately is the difference in the thinking of a single person verses a married person. Now its not rare that a person gets to have experience being both at some point in their lives, but what IS rare is a person who had an awesome relationship while married, no major issues, and can look back at being married as just a different a state of mind. Enter: Me! lol

There are so many things I looked at differently, and maybe a little bit snobbishly when I was married. For instance, my opinion of women who were single mothers by choice, people who cheated on their spouses, single people who swore they were happy being single, women who frequented the club scene, and other interesting little differences between marrieds and singles, and I was a lot less forgiving than I am now. I also would have never admitted to the insecurities of being married, the restlessness at times, or the teeniest curiosity at what could have been. As a matter of fact, I'm almost certain I would have DENIED some of the things I can look back and admit to now: mild jealousy of single people and their freedom to just "do"... tiny regrets about being married so young and "missing my 20s"... etc.

These things, from talking to other married people while I was married, are normal and extremely common. As a matter of fact I think its probably human nature to have a "wandering eye" or wondering "what if": The thing that keeps a marriage together is not ACTING on these little whims and flights of fancy. The thing that tests the strength of your love and the maturity of the relationship is whether you can say, at the end of the day: I am happy where I am and I would never change it.

Moving on to singles and the ups and downs of this part of life, I have to say that YES, I do prefer being married over this. But I can also say, I can see why some people are perfectly happy being single. Its funny to me now, when I hear some of my married friends' finger waving warnings about life- as if they did not go through the same hoops and changes, but not because I don't believe them. Its because I know they mean well, and I know THEY think that I'm doing the classic TV show "She's just jealous of me" eye roll. That is ironic, since a year ago I had the same things to say to someone like me. I think coming from being happily married, it allows me to understand their intentions better, and not feel like they are just jealous. I give my real friends more credit, and I listen to their sermons because I know they love me.
*shrugs*