Ok so... I feel like its time that I stop procrastinating, and time that I start getting back on my writing game. Its getting ridiculous. I do have the time. I have from 7 am to 9 am every morning, and I know, I shouldnt try to push myself to create habits I'll hate, or wont keep... so maybe the mornings not the greatest. But it seems like it could be so much fun to make myself a cup of chai tea, and sit outside ( given its a nice morning), or sit in my living room and write. It could be fun. It really could. I'd feel so artsy... Maybe if I make it a once a week thing, and start slow.. maybe I can make getting up ealier a real habit. Jeez thats scary. Embarking on a new me. One that likes mornings... and meets deadlines... ooooohhh.
Another thing is I need a writing schedule. Like times where I'm supposed to be writing on certain projects. Maybe then I could build up to getting into odesk or elance... I'm growing.
Today I was feeling really un-confident. I dont want the bathing suit I fell so hard for, because I dont think it will look good on me. I was hating myself for how I get lost every damn where, and how I cant ever just drive somewhere without being anxious about getting lost or calling JAson for directions. I have a Magellan for crap's sake. Not to mention a blackberry with gps. Then I go to try on a suit that I saw online at Target and I find out my tummy is just not gonna behave in any suit I pick. That was a bummer too.
On the flip side, I found I at least look decent in a skirted suit, preferably one with ruffles looks at least flattering on me. I thought that with my body type, (Athletic, petite, curvy bottom, small top [mommy tummy :( ]) I would look better with a high cut thigh. Not so. The skirty ruffle bottom is much better. And a halter top is good for my athletic arms and shoulders, and small bust. So the KCole suit looks like its gonna be the prototype or the winner. I'm looking for something in an earthy color, white, tan, burnt orange or olive, to really bring out my skin tone.
Thinking of things that compliment me, and let me be the best ME I can be, really brought me full circle. I began to think of what I'm really trying to accomplish in life, the little things like feeling good about my appearance, and the huge things, like writing and getting somewhere and having the confidence to try. I need to stop comparing myself with others, and love me for who I am - and be greatful I'm already paired up with my match so I dont HAVE to care too much about sex appeal. ( Even tho its fun to have a little every now and then). I need to focus on the assets I have.
- I've lost the weight and kept it off, going from 140 to a steady 126-7.
- I've published at least 8 articles!!
- I've pitched Essence!!
- I have two healthy, beautiful kids.
- My husband loves me, for real!
- I'm embarking on a friendship where, at age 27, for the first time I think I might be able say the "BF" word. :O
- We make a good living, my hub and I. We are truly blessed.
- I got my "own office" before I was 27, my goal was 30! I work from home!
I've got more, I wont bore you. But I'm working on this theme. Its a constant job. Loving oneself.
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