Sick and Tired begets Tired Sickness.

I don't even feel like typing this. I feel like I've told too many people already. Like I've complained enough for the day. I'm just annoyed. On one hand, I have the drama with the current article, where I STILL haven't heard anything from the editor about my (really early and possibly premature) ejaculation of enthusiasm, and sending of the finished product. I know it was early, but it was good. And I was done. And I was really happy about finally writing something and being able to charge someone for it and mostly being able to say; Look "someone" this is MY writing. On top of the anticipation of her comments, I feel like, looking back at my article and what she asked me to write in the first place, and I feel lacking. I know I could have written more, more streamlined to what she asked of me. Now I feel like an arrogant asshole. Like I've already sent her the bill ( good ole PayPal) and everything. ( She asked me to include it with my submission!!) So I've given her a half ass job, that may not be a fit for her section, and asked for pay as if it was just that good. *LOUD SIGH*

In other news, I'm conflicted again. I've got this feeling like I want to write a book again. Like I've got ideas growing in my head and I don't know how to buckle down and commit to them. I've got turrets of the pen hand ( keyboard fingers) and ADD in my brain. I need to map out everything I want to be and see if I cant narrow it down. Just being a "writer or Copywriter" is too broad. ( I learned the def of copywriter today! ) It's more like I'm torn between:

What I CAN do
What I'd LIKE to do
What I WANT to do
What's INTERESTING to me, and
What I ACTUALLY feel like putting in the work for.

I'm on Odesk, and I'm like - Yeah, I see hundreds of jobs and projects out there that I could apply to do, but who feels like trying to market yourself, over and over, competing against people. I've just never had the confidence to be competitive. And that's where this writing thing is probably going to kick my ass. 1. not being motivated by competition, and 2. not being open to negative criticism. Pray for me.