Just TEXT me!

I hate when people call me "just to say hi". If you really have nothing interesting to say, other than hi, and you intend to do any of the following:

*Talk to others while we're on the phone
*Watch TV
*Breathe
*Talk about things I am not and never have been interested in; ie: MEN talking about their hairlines, shopping items from Home Depot, other women they date...
*Gossip
*Call just to satisfy some deranged routine you've fallen into...
*Obviously Not pay attention to me
*Put me on hold when its YOU that called ME
*After I've finally given in to talking to your boring ass, suddenly need to switch over to your other line in the middle of my sentence
*Start an Argument
*Fall asleep
*Call me repeatedly as if something is urgent and when I call you back I find out you just wanted to "say hi".
*Force me to do the "fake laugh" at your jokes that if you really knew me, you'd know I'm faking it
*Mope about how much your life sucks only to rebut every positive silver lining I point out
*Debate with zero debating skills, and then get mad when you lose your own baseless argument
*Ask me to "be honest" and get mad when I really do it. :P ( Never ask a Sagittarius! )

Save yourself confusion of the timeout you'll find yourself in when I stop answering calls from you. TEXT ME your "HELLO" and get on with your LIFE!! THANKIES!