The REASONS people do the things they do is so much more important to me than the actual behavior. The devil is indeed in the details. I truly believe that people, especially women, are by nature competitive and catty. I think the only way you can truly love a person, character flaws and all, is by knowing exactly what their "devil" is. Once you know the reason they act the way they do, you can analyze whether this is something you can overlook, or need to address.
I can understand the logic in a person who is married but chatting it up online with some stranger, because I know why. Its nagging restless feeling to wish you could still get some attention from someone other than your sig other... or to feel trapped in a relationship.
Same goes for the flip side: If you know what its like to be juggling 4 people but still be lonely, have a full schedule but no one that cares - then you understand why someone acts they way they do.
But SOMETIMES, some "Devils" are just not able to be overlooked. Like INSECURITY. Some people do things because they are unhappy with themselves. Examining that further, since I know what it is like to be here, some people ACT on their insecurity. That is a different beast entirely. This type of person for example, could have been shy or quiet in high school, overlooked a bit by the "cool" crowd... had thier own issues and shortcomings, and still carry them with them 10-20 years later. Overcompensating for being overlooked by showcasing expensive accessories, wearing revealing clothing, and never being caught dead without full makeup and weave. Yes.. this is normally a woman. I've had to learn the hard way that even tho this is a forgivable flaw, sometimes it can be too much. Sometimes when you know the reason why someone does things, you can forgive it a few times, and sometimes you cant. There is a limit. They have to be let go.
*Sadly waving*
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