Alone and UNLonely

I've always been relationshippy. My first boyfriend was when I was 12... and I swear to you, that its been "On to the Next" ever since. I cant remember the last time ( and I dont think there really ever was...) that I was actually single, not talking to someone or in the process of being "together". I'm not sure yet whether thats a good thing or a bad habit.

As a result of my serial relationship habit, I've come face to face with a fear I've known I've had for a long time. Singlehood. I'm not afraid of not having a boyfriend... I can totally handle the drama-less nights. Its the boredom. Ive found myself struggling to keep me occupied, so that I dont cave and just go out with whoever asks, or slip into depression and sleep all my free time away. Recently, Yesterday as a matter of fact, while visiting my little sister - who's fabulously single, loves it, currently dating a certain celebrity's little brother, and has the job of EVERYone's dreams - she pointed out that I thrive when I reinvent myself, and that I need to decide what I want to be next, and perfect it.

What do I want to be next? I've been talking about that for a while. I decided to step back and think about the thing I'm so afriad of. The Boredom. Why am I so restless? What could I be doing with my time? Why do I have so much time?

The more I thought about it, the clearer it became that I really am not all that bored when I put my mind to doing all that it takes to be this "new Me". I have business calls I make, new money to manage, places to go, things I like doing.. and I also find that I meet new people 9 times out of 10 when I'm doing all these things... alone. Honestly some of my best or most successful days I have are days where I'm proud of myself for accomplishing something totally out of my comfort zone, on my own.

So today, I took a step out the door... fresh faced and open for new adventures... Adventures being ME!!!

....And today was FABULOUS! I'm growing!

PS Its May! Time to work on my book with my editor!! HOORAY!


:) <-- *Shiny happy smiley*