Already Here

Brian Courtney Williams has a beautiful song called "Already here". One of the most beautiful, heartfelt, relatable gospel songs I've heard in a long time. It just shakes the soul when you can connect so closely with a perfect stranger's perfect description of life challenges.

Anywhozer, I'm coming up for air finally, on my "day off" tomorrow. This week has just been a JOB, I swear. Nik got sick with who-knows-what and of COURSE the medical UN-surance wont kick in for another 2-3 weeks. But guess what? I applied! I got them squared away. Among 50-eleven other chores and to-do list items I cleared last week, I'm finally able to breathe a bit easier because Nick seems to be feeling better without the medication. ( Reminds self to give him his dosage tonight anyway, as he only has 2 days left to take it. ) Justin of course, is feeling neglected from his "misfortune" of not being sick WITH Nick, so he's hacking and coughing away making himself as pitiful as possible. I swear I dont know what I'm going to do to grow some patience for that child. Just TOO much sometimes! SMH

Among my laundry list of things, Justin is now enrolled and loving the new bible study/ aftercare that my church offers. So my "inkling" to involve him more in church may have been pointing to this. It cheaper than any other afterschool program I've seen and he seems to like it. Altho I have yet to hear of any actual bible studying, I'm ok with at least the environment being church centric. He loves his new school. The work doesnt seem to be challenging him as much as his old class though, and his teacher is old as Methuselah so I'm not sure she has the online access to homework and grades like his last class. Oh well. More stuff to do and check out and do the leg work for. SIGH. It never ends!

Anyway, at least I have a few things in life I can temporarily cling to. My mother just randomly got a new job too far from me to help at ALL now. So thats a bummer. Then again, I shouldnt need too much help since the kids are right by my house. I'm praying this was the next step to take. But I'm getting comfy with it. I'm spending more time with my mommy bff circle, so that is a plus. Maybe this stepping out on my own will be less painful than I thought. :) Here's hoping. I've been so certain this transition was going to be like pulling teeth, and so scared that I was going to regret this step of independance. As cliche as it seems, once again, God is proving to me that no matter how much I anticipate and agonize over jumping into new situations, He was ready for me to just jump. He was already here.

Night,
xo